I have read (tbh half finished) a book called “The Surrendered Wife” by Laura Doyles and many things in the book suprised me. First of all what suprised me was that this book is written by a Christian and she had written similar viewpoints to Islam, when it comes to marriage and the relationship between a husband and wife. It was actually recommended in an Islamic group chat if I’m not wrong by a Muslim sister, so you can learn to be a better wife in shaa Allaah.

So far from what I read a while back (I have a bad habit of starting books and not finishing them, guilty indeed) it talks about the concept of letting go and not trying to micromanage every single detail your husband is doing as that can damage your relationship in the long term. It talks about when your husband is making a decision and you may not agree with it but to simply say “whatever you think”. Of course if it is something extreme that will affect you detrimentally you can speak your viewpoint. However, if it is something that you think will have negative consequences but it is not extreme, to let it go. For example, your husband decides to eat out nearly everyday of the week, you don’t need to nag and say you’re wasting money etc if that’s his decision. He can learn himself when the negative consequence happens and learn for example he should eat out less next month.

The book talks about showing respect to your husband and trusting him to handle his responsibilities and let him make his own decisions. Let him take care of the finances, make final decisions for the family, be the provider and protector etc. This book is aimed for the wives who feel lonely or are experiencing marital conflict. It is about looking at the bigger picture and realising that nagging and getting your way etc is not better than having a good bond and relationship with your husband. It is about trying not to complain and practising gratitude. It might take some time but when your husband realises the respect you are showing him, he will in shaa Allaah do things for you, you didn’t expect from him. This is always a reminder to myself first. I am still working on these things myself and need to continue to read the book in shaa Allaah.

Allaah knows best.